Hey baby girl.  

Since June, we have had even more changes. It seems like change is constant in our lives..l and you have taken it all in stride. In August, we took an amazing vacation to Switzerland and France! We hiked in the Swiss alps and you fell asleep after a picnic lunch in Daddy’s lap.  Sometimes I look at you and remember… You are barely out of the toddler age.  You seem so grown up sometimes… The things you understand, how you react in situations… Your amazing vocabulary.  Sometimes it is really easy to forget you’re just barely a pre-schooler.  

In September, we got ready to take you to school.  Oh, what heartbreak… I think I was wayyy more nervous about it than you were.  Actually, I know I was… because all you could talk about was being excited!! I on the other hand, wanted to cry most of the time….  We watched a Dora episode about world friendship day and you promptly requested matching “pulseras de amistad”  ;)  Of course I obliged.  Ended up that G and daddy each got one too.  I have been drawing you notes every day to go with your snack at school.  It’s SO cute to see how excited you get about what I’ll draw next… sometimes you even make requests.  Every time, you always request that you and I are doing something together… going to the park, playing dress up, drawing, going to the pool.. you get the idea. I think Daddy is a little jealous sometimes. He always asks me to draw him in the pictures too…

We celebrated your 4th birthday on your actual birthday… it was a Sunday this year and we had a TON of people over to celebrate with us on the patio under our apartment. You wanted a Dora the Explorer party… so that is what you got!  Our landlords even gave you a gift of helium and big character balloons!! I made mini-mochillas and did a pretend Dora game where Swiper swiped your piñata!  You had so much fun.  You kept saying all night… “this was the best birthday party EVER!”  Haha!!

You got invited to 2 birthday parties within the first week of school.  After Kristina’s party, (our neighbor- she’s in your class!)  we were walking home together.  You were quiet, which is very uncommon… and the you said, “I don’t think I’ll be good at it.”  Me: “You don’t think you’ll be good at what??”  You: “At getting older… I don’t think I’ll be good at being a grown up.”  You went on to talk about all the things you see me do that you can’t do yet… like cook, paint fingernails… etc… so I had to reassure you that when you DO grow up, you’ll be able to do those things just like I can.  I’m not too sure if you believed me.  I just picked you up and snuggled you the rest of the way home. I’m not so sure I want you to grow up…

The funniest thing that has happened recently is that last night, during bath time, G pooped in the bathtub.  You were in there.  Some of it got on you.  You promptly got out of the bathtub and threw up on a towel on the floor.  Poor baby… Daddy gave you a shower while I scrubbed out the tub… then I got you dressed.  You know what you said to me?  Un-prompted?? “Mommy, I’m so sorry I threw up on your towel…”  HA!  I told you, “don’t worry about it baby, I probably would have thrown up too if G pooped on me.”  You broke into this HUGE smile and hugged me so tight.  Then you asked for a kiss.  Bless your heart… I told you no.  I wanted to brush your teeth first… then I gave you tons of non-vomity kisses.  :)

Every night, you ask me to sing Butterfly Kisses to you and scratch your back.  Through your PJs isn’t good enough- it has to be on skin.  Sometimes you even start to fall asleep, I think… but you always wake up enough to give me a tight squeeze and kiss before I leave your room.  You’re my precious girl, Aidyn.  The other day, I even caught you (and videoed a little!) singing Butterfly Kisses while you were drawing another picture for me. You draw me pictures every day.

I know you love me. 
Somedays I really feel like I don’t deserve it…. 
But oh man, I’m so grateful that you love me.
I want to be a better mom to you, baby girl.
Every day, I want to be a better mom to you.

I love you more than you can ever know…

                                                                – mommy

Hey love.

It’s been over a year since I’ve written to you.  I’m sorry.  It’s been quite a year!

Since April of 2011, you have turned 3, moved into 10 different places and gotten 2 more stamps in your passport!  Last summer, we spent a lot of time loving on family, hanging out at JJ’s pool, and a LOT of time moving.  

To recap:

2011
July – we moved from our first family home to our first mission house in Taylors.  
Aug – Taylors to Lyman
Sep – Appointment in FL
Oct – School in VA
Nov – Back to SC for Uncle Andrew and Aunt Katie’s wedding!
Dec – VA to Lyman, Vacation with Nina and Poppy

2012
Feb – To Charleston for a conference, Daddy went overseas for his visa, we stayed with JJ and PawPaw!
Mar – Moved overseas!
July – Moved to our new place in NA!

It’s been quite a year.  

In July of last year, we said goodbye to Snoopy, our home, our neighbors… and moved to our first M house in Taylors.  Daddy was overseas on a M-trip and we had to pack up without him!  He got back about 2 days before we moved.  We also had a tornado about a mile from our house while he was gone!  I’ll never forget driving away from our house that day… we had to leave Snoopy there because pets weren’t allowed in the M house.  He was sitting on the driveway in front of the completely empty garage with his ears tucked back and his tail between his legs.  I was glad you guys were in the backseat and couldn’t see me sobbing the whole way…

Thankfully, we got the house rented super quickly and JJ and PawPaw took Snoopy to live with them.  You guys got adjusted to the next 2 Mhouses pretty well… it was really an adventure for you guys, I think! For your birthday in September, we threw you a princess ball!  We kind of doubled it as a “going away” party and had a lot of friends and family come.  It was a ton of fun and you loved every second of it!  It was the first year I didn’t make your cake.  We had been to a local bakery to eat one day and you went over to the display case, pointed your precious little finger and announced that the mound of chocolately gooeyness would be your birthday cake.  I couldn’t say no! I paid that day and when we went to get it the day of your birthday…. surprise! They forgot!! Hahaha! We got a half-eaten chocolately gooeyness and something else too, plus some cupcakes. I think they felt really bad… especially because you were SO cute, asking where your special birthday cake was!

Virginia was a really hard time for our family.  We had already been in 2 other houses after our “home”, but it was still very different.  Daddy and I had classes almost all day every day and you and G went to “school”.  Really, it was more like daycare but you learned a lot of things!  Some of your favorite friends were Maddy, Malachi and Sadie.  It was a very special time for us to be with other people who were going overseas like us.  We even put up a Christmas tree and made ornaments in our quad!  Our quadrates were Brandy, Hans, Alexis, Ashley, David and Uncle Skip!  We still keep up with them some, but it’s hard now that we live so far apart.  They’ll always be very special to us though.  

December was a really hard time because we had to leave VA.  You cried a lot saying goodbye.  Thinking back on it now, that was really the first time you had to say goodbye for real to people you loved.  We all really grieved together.  But at the same time, it was really exciting to get to go back to SC and celebrate Christmas with our blood family!  We were still waiting on our visas to come through, so we just used up all our time visiting and enjoying family as much as possible.  We went back to Lyman MH for Christmas, but since it was so close, we couldn’t get a tree.  Instead, we made one out of construction paper!  It was really fun, too!  We hung our stockings and celebrated together that morning before we went to JJ and PawPaw’s.  It was a really special time.  We got to celebrate with Nina and Poppy when we went to the beach with them, too!

February, we were invited to Charleston for a conference.  Daddy flew out in the middle of it to apply for residency overseas without us.  It was so hard to be left behind, but it was really fun to get to vacation with Mr. Andy and Mrs. Sue and their puppies!  You guys really miss Snoopy..  I think you and G really knew big changes were coming, too.  You guys were crying a lot and really missing him.  He was only gone for a week or so though and we were SO glad to have him home again.  You didn’t want to go to the airport, so you stayed with JJ and PawPaw at Mimi’s house while I took G with me to get him in CLT.  

About a week after Daddy got back, our visas came through! I flew down to FL to get them and we got our tickets for our overseas move on G’s 2nd birthday: Mar 19.  We flew out the 23rd.  It was craziness.  We didn’t want to have a bunch of hard goodbyes the day we left, so we said “see you later” to friends and family on the 22nd.  On the morning of the 23rd, we packed up our car with our 7 suitcases plus carry-ons and went to Chuck E Cheese to use our leftover tokens!  We ate greasy pizza, played and headed to the airport.  You guys were totally oblivious to the turmoil inside me… you were running around, laughing… and I felt like throwing up the whole time.  Daddy and I left our keys and phones in the car and tried to close that chapter of our lives.  

The trip over was HARD. You and G were so tired because you didn’t get naps that day.  The flight overseas was only about 7 hours and the lights didn’t go off until almost 4 hours in!  You finally fell asleep when it was dark… but then the lights came back on about an hour later!  Ugh!  So, Daddy and I made makeshift tents for you guys using the airline blankets and tray tables.  You slept until we were on the ground… at 7am local time- 1am our time.  Boy, you were in BAD moods.  We were too.  I was SO dizzy and both of you wanted me to hold you!  We got checked into our next flight and finally made it to our new city and went to bed about 24 hours after we left the States.  After an almost 4 hour nap, I tried to wake you up… took your paci, blanket, opened the window…. you rolled over and said, “Please go away, mommy. I’m still very tired.”  HAHA!  Rotten, sweet girl.

We spent 3 months in that apartment.  We just moved last week, hopefully this will be the last place for a very long time!  Daddy just put your new big-girl bed together and we’re getting settled in.  Lately, your favorite thing to do has been to draw.  You’re really good at it!  You can draw flowers, clouds and people.  Your people even have pupils and eyelashes, too!  Also, we have special time just for us when I help you write your letters. You have learned how to write your name and several other letters too!  I’m so proud of you, precious girl. Another funny thing- almost every night when we put you to bed, you sneak into our room and climb into our bed.  A lot of times we don’t even know you do it… we just come back here and find you snoring and drooling, sprawled out across both our pillows.  We really love you, baby girl.

We have new games we play now too.  One we call, “I have a very serious question for you…”  followed by a random assortment of questions. The last is always, “Whose girl/mommy are you” (depending on who is talking) and when you/I answer “Mommy’s girl/Aidyn’s mommy” you get tickled almost to death! It’s your “very favorite game”. You also tell me multiple times a day (on your own) that you’re going to be my girl forever and I can keep you for always.  Makes my heart smile.

You’re struggling a LOT right now with obedience.  I know your life has changed so much, and I am asking God to give me patience with you, but sometimes it’s just so hard.  I feel so helpless sometimes… I want to teach you the right things, to teach you to WANT to do the right things… but I don’t know how sometimes.  So, I just pray a lot.  I love you more than you will ever know.

I will try to write you again before long..

But know that I’m loving you always, even when I’m not writing.

-mommy

My big girl,

Aidyn.  I think I am going to try to write you 3 or 4 letters a year now.  You are still growing so fast, but if I write much more than that…. this gift will start to be overwhelming, I think.

My favorite thing about you now- you ask us EVERY DAY ….

“Mommy, are we going to be missionaries?”

It’s an amazing, constant reminder that we don’t have to be in Africa to be missionaries.  God has called us to talk about Him every day… no matter where we are.  You’re helping to keep me and Daddy accountable to that.   So, thank you.

As far as things go with the IMB, we have submitted a job request for a country in North Africa and should hear back in the next week or so as to whether they approve us for this position.  I have already been looking at apartments, schools… etc.  Home schooling would be illegal there, so I’ve been talking to God a lot about that.  My heart still races when I think about you being at school without me… but I have peace about it, too.  If God opens the door for us to move to this city, we are going whole-heartedly, trusting that He will provide us with every single thing we might need in the process and when we are there.  

As far as a two-year-old understanding of what an international missionary is… you have it down.  Conversation:

“Aidyn, what’s a missionary?”
                    ”We’re gonna tell errrry-body about Jesus, mom.”
“Where are we going to be missionaries?”
                    ”We are going to Ahhh-fruh-ca!  Gonna meet new friends ‘n tell ‘em ’bout Jesus!”
“How are we going to get there?”
                    ”We’re gonna fly ‘cross the whooooolllle ocean!…… I’M EXCITED!!”

Bless my heart.

My sweet baby.

I love you so much.  So, so, SO much.

Dear Aidyn.

Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve written to you.  

LIFE has been CRAZY lately.  Honey, I don’t even know where to start….

YOU have turned 2 since the last time I wrote. Goodness.  We had a fantastic birthday party with a few great friends and close family members.  Not the big bash like last year… but still a blast!  You LOVED your chocolate party.  Even now, when you see the heart shaped cupcake tray or find a random sequin hidden somewhere… you say, “that’s my birthday party right THERE!” haha!  You are so smart… you can count to 12, you know all your colors and you love to sing the “ABCs”.  You sing all the words to a ton of songs on the radio and you know every word to the songs I sing to you every day.  ”Jesus Loves Me” is your favorite.  ”Stay Awake” from Mary Poppins and “Baby Mine” from Dumbo are up there on your list, though.  Your new favorite phrase is “right quick”.  Example: “Mommy, I gotta go check on Grae.  I’ll be back right quick, ok?” Ha!  You goose…  And when we ask you, “Are you ready, Freddie?” You say, “Mommy, I’m not Freddie! I’m Aidyn!!” …as if we don’t know…. 

Man, I love you.

As for the new things in our family:

Daddy has officially resigned his position as manager at work.  He’s taking more seminary classes and taking care of you and Grae while I work full time.  I haven’t been able to get a “full time ” position at work, so I started looking for a new job.  God gave me an AMAZING opportunity to work with Hospice.  The pay is great, the hours are MUCH better… but the thing I’m most excited about is the witnessing opportunity.  I am so excited to tell these people (and their families!) who don’t have hope for physical things that there is HOPE in Jesus. There is hope in knowing that He died on the cross to provide a way to spend eternity in heaven with Him.  Man.  I have felt like crying ever since they said they were going to hire me.  I got to shadow a nurse on Sunday afternoon for about 7 hours and I should be starting to work full time with Hospice after the first week of January.  

We also got our “go ahead” from the IMB- more than likely, we will be commissioned as full time missionaries in September 2011!!  What a cool 3rd birthday present for you, baby girl!!  Ever since Mr. Ken called us to tell us the good news (and after my extreme excitement), every time we get ready to go somehwere, you ask, “Mommy, where are we going?  Are we going to be a missionary?!?!?!” I love being able to tell you “Yes!”.  Even though we aren’t full time missionaries with the IMB now, we are still missionaries.  We get to tell people about Jesus wherever we go.  

My love, I know I have a TON left to tell you… but I am about to wash up after a very, very long night at work.  I’m working 61 hours this week and I am exhausted.  
Gonna go write a quick note to G and then hit the sack.  You’re spending the day with “Beboo” aka Aunt Brenda and then I will see you when you get home.   
The last thing you said to me before you left in daddy’s truck this morning was, “I love you, Mommy!!” .

Well.
I love you, Aidyn.  More than you will ever know.

Love,

           mommy  :) 

PS. I can hardly believe Christmas is NEXT WEEK!!! We are gonna have such a blast this year with you…. and Grae too!!! YAY!! Happy birthday, Jesus!

Home sweet home.

I turned 25 years old on Saturday.  Can you believe it? I can’t really… I’m 1/4 century old.  Woah.  I kinda feel like I should run out, buy a motorcycle and (somehow) strap 2 carseats onto it.  (not really… but you get the idea.) I feel old.

We went to the beach for my birthday- we told you ALL day friday that we were “going to the beach”. You were very excited, to say in the least.  For the entire 2.5hr drive down, you shouted, “We goin to da beeeeech!!” Very loudly, I might add.  We got to great-uncle Jeff’s beach house around 9pm.  You guys were SO exhausted.  I gave you a quick bath while daddy unloaded your pack’n'plays.  You both slept very well- we started the morning around 8am.  Daddy took you to get Bojangle’s bo-berry biscuits (cause that’s what mommy wanted for birthday breakfast) and Grae and I stayed behind to pack up our stuff for “DA BEECH!” haha!

We all ate breakfast and headed down to the water around 9:30.  You were already lathered up with sunscreen and lookin’ mighty  cute in your bathing suit.  I got out the video camera and recorded you walking with me down to the water- still very excited at this point.  We walked, you talked, “It’s da beech, mom-mee. I see da water.  And da sand…” Then, much to your surprise, a wave started creeping pretty close to your feet.  You turned, point blank, and ran screaming as fast as your little legs could carry you back to Daddy.  Your poor hat was left behind blowing on the sand… of course, the video camera said “insufficient space” as soon as you turned to run, so we don’t have video proof.  I will never forget it though. Daddy said as soon as you got back under the umbrella you said, “I don’t like da beech, daddy.” HA!  We found another family with an 18month old girl- her name was Jaycee.  Her family dug out a pool in the sand for her- you were pretty content to play in the water there… as long as the mean waves couldn’t get to you. Goof. 

We ate some sandy sandwiches and then headed back to the house for afternoon naps.  You woke up and told us that “I had sweet dreams”.  We got dressed and headed out to Broadway at the Beach- we walked around, rode the carousel and ate at Johnny Rockets.  You got a new hat which you refused to wear any way but backwards.  I got some new sunglasses.  We had a really good time just walking around together.

Sunday morning we skipped church and went to Ripley’s Aquarium.  Again, you were very excited to see “da fishees”.  You got to touch a horseshoe crab and a stingray.  We saw a diver feed all the fish in a huge tank and rode the conveyer belt through a huge, underwater tunnel.  We ate lunch at Hard Rock Cafe before we hopped in the car to head home.  Horrible traffic made the 2.5hr drive into almost 4… you woke up super early from your nap but we got back to Nina’s house around 4pm.  Daddy and I played a game of pool volleyball and you watched, shouting, “Good job mommy, good job daddy”… when I prompted you to, anyway.

We got back in the car and finished the last leg of the trip- putting us home around 7pm.  We ate some quick supper and put you and Grae to bed.  I love vacation… but man, oh man- it is SO good to be home!

I love you, baby girl. 
You make me laugh so much-

A few weeks ago, Snoopy really needed a bath.  He was STINKY and his hair was matted some.  You asked if he could come inside- I responded, “No way- he’s stinky! Shoo-wee”. You laughed HISTARICALLY and exclaimed, “no he’s not!!!” I said, “Oh yes he is! Shoo!”  To which you laughed, “Snoopy needs a diaper change!!” haha!

You are really growing up so fast.  I bought most of the party supplies online today- I can hardly believe your 2nd birthday is next month!  We’re doing a chocolate theme, if I haven’t written that before.  I am getting a lot of valentine’s things- since your invitation has 2 red hearts in the middle of LOTS of chocolates. I had my debit card out this morning to pay for the PartyCity stuff- when I told you what I was getting, you shouted, “I wanna pay for it! Lets go, Mommy- let’s go to da day-party!!”   You now seem to think that my debit card is somehow magically linked to a party…

I love you.
I’m gonna go check on you and Grae now- it’s about time for you two to wake up from your naps so we can play some more!!

All my love,
                   mommy 

Dear Aidyn-

Baby girl… you drive me up the wall insane.  I love you more than words could ever say…. but goodness.  Even when you’re sleeping you’re making noise!! You snore louder than any other kid I have ever known.  You are completely conversational now- I would say almost fluent in English.  However, when you’ve run out of intelligible things to say, you resort to “blah blah blahing” (literally) until you think of something else to say.  I never realized how much I treasure some silence until you hit this phase… You’ve also decided to be pretty whiny lately.  You make the MOST ridiculous face… this open mouthed frown- and make a horrid, horrid ”maaaaaahhhhh” noise.  Noise. Noise- that’s your new favorite thing!

On the flip side, you’ve also been much more loving lately.  You want to “hold mommy” – my hand, my hair, my face…. you offer kisses without any prompting- you want to snuggle a lot.  I love rocking you and singing to you- you ask for the “Wake Song”- it’s actually “Stay Awake” from Mary Poppins. I’ve been singing that to you since you were inside me.

You’ve finally cut all of your canines- they’re fully in!  The only ones you have left to get are your 2 year molars, thank heavens! You’ve been very healthy lately too.  Only 1 ear infection since September when you had tubes placed.  I imagine they will have to come out soon- hopefully you’ll continue this “well” trend even then, especially since it looks like G will be the next one for tubes. He’s on his 2nd ear infection in his 4mos of life. Poor kid… you can blame your daddy for that one.  He’s the one who had 3 sets of tubes as a kid… not me! If you end up needing glasses… I’ll take the blame for that one.

I love you so, so much.

You’re out playing at JJ’s house while I rest a bit before work.
…and even though you make me crazy, I miss you.  Lots.

You’re my heart, Aidyn Lane.
I’m so grateful that God gave you to me…. you’re such a blessing.

Lots of love,

       mommy 

My love,

I tried to cut your hair last night.  You turned your head at the perfectly wrong moment… it didn’t end up well.  Your skin is intact but your hair is so sad looking. I’m so, so sorry.  I promise if I ever try again I’ll have help.  You thought it was great though- you got to look in the mirror and kept saying “so pretty” hahah!

You’re taking a killer nap right now… been asleep over 2.5hrs.  You and G switched today- HE’s normally the one who sleeps like a champ for naps.  Neither one of you feels good today- He has diarrhea and you have fever.  It’s been a hard day to say in the least.  I wish I could tell you how much I feel like crying.  I’m trying so hard to just be positive… but when both of you are crying and hurting and there’s nothing I can do about it- I feel so helpless.  I wish I could just make it better… crawl into bed with both of you and let you fall asleep in my arms.  I wish, I wish, I wish.

You’re my precious baby girl.
You’re so hard to raise… so stubborn… so beautiful… so close to my heart. 

I love you.

Dear Aidyn-

          It’s been a while since I’ve had time to write… this note may be a little short since I almost peeled my left middle finger nail halfway off last night… peeling an apple for you!  It still hurts… I’m such a clutz.  You got that gene too- sadly!  I think you ran into the corner of the table 15 times in a span of about 3 hours.  I give a lot of “tisses” to random body parts- but mostly to your head!  Goodness.
          A lot of things have happened lately- you went to your first movie last month.  Alvin and the Chipmunks- The Squeakuel. We went with Shanna and Cooper- you did really well until about the last 30 minutes.  You were so tired and started fussing just a little bit.  I took lots of pictures- you got your own bag of popcorn and when the movie lights went down you gasped- “darrrrrk”  “tv?” …then the loud intro started- you dropped your popcorn and clung to the armrests for dear life.  It looked like you were getting ready to take off… I wish I’d had the video camera! It was hilarious… Cooper turned sideways and hugged the chair- so funny!
          You are talking so much more now- In the last few days you’ve started speaking in sentences a lot- I would say about 50% of the time you speak, you string 3 or 4 words together.  I can hardly believe it- I’m excited to have actual conversations with you.  I don’t think it will be long before I can!  At your 18 month checkup last month you weighed 23lbs (34th %) and were 33.3 inches tall (88th%).  You have the build of a ballerina… and you certainly love to spin… but your biggest love is CHOCOLATE. 
          Goodness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone love chocolate like you do.  Your eyes get a little sparkle and you do this HUGE open mouthed smile whenever you think you’ll get some.  It’s adorable.  Most of the time, anyway.  About a week ago I was changing your diaper (a particularly squishy one.  took 5 wipes. ew. ) and you looked down and got that twinkle… ” chockkkk-wit!!!”  “AHHHH no no n ono no no!!! That’s not chocolate!!!”  Not so adorable at that moment. Thankfully your hands didn’t actually get far enough south to get the grossness on you.  Ergo- I’ve decided we’re going to do a chocolate birthday party for you this year.  Chocolate milk, cake, cookies, m&m’s… you get the idea.  I think you will be SO excited.  That’s one of your new favorite words now- “cited”. I love seeing you say that word… almost as much as “chock-wit”.  Haha!
         We drove down to visit Melanie on Saturday- I’ve pretty much decided I can’t take both you and Grae anywhere longer than 30 minutes by myself anymore.  I don’t know that I would survive!  On the way from Melanie’s to Nina’s, Grae woke up and started screaming to eat.  You saw fit to scream ,”CUH-RYY-IN” over and over and OVER.  For 45 minutes.  Every time he’d fuss even the littlest bit- “cryyyyyyy-in!!!”  I got stressed out for about the first 30 minutes… then just turned the radio up.  I could still see you in the rear-view mirror shouting. “Cuhhhh-RYYYY-in!”   As if I didn’t know.  I couldn’t stop laughing after that…
          I am going to register you for our church’s ELC (Early Learning Center) tomorrow morning.  You’ll go 3 days a week starting this fall from about 8am-12pm.  It will be good for you (and me!) especially since I will be going back to work shortly.  I’ll have a set schedule working just Sunday nights.  I won’t even have to miss you on Monday mornings while you’re gone ’cause I’ll be sleeping.  You’re sleeping really well in your “big girl” bed too.  Most days I just ask you for a squeeze and a kiss before I put you down for a nap.  It usually takes you about 10-20 minutes rolling around to go to sleep, but you do it on your own!  I still rock you a couple of times a week though.  Sometimes because I want to, sometimes because you need me to… I still enjoy holding you in my arms when you’re snoring.  You’re my baby… and you always will be.
          I hope you enjoy reading these notes someday.   I love writing these memories down- as much as I hope I’ll never forget them, I know I will.  I want you to know how precious you are to me- You have such a big part of my heart and while I can’t wait to watch you grow up, it scares me.  Even now- you’re starting to call me “mom” instead of “mommy”.  I don’t think I could explain how I feel… like I’m mourning the fact that I’m losing you as my baby but rejoicing in the fact that you’re growing and changing so beautifully.  How excited I am to see you grow and mature into the woman God has created you to be.  It’s going to be so hard when you think you don’t need me anymore- I know I thought that about my mom… until I became a mom.  I don’t think I’ll ever stop needing her.  I hope you always want me to be a part of your life.  But I hope more than anything that you grow up to be an independent and strong woman- completely rooted in the love of Jesus…  and in mine.  Neither one will ever change.

                                                              mommy

well… so much for being short!!

Dear Aidyn-

You’re sitting on the couch, watching Jack’s Big Music Show and eating honeycombs and milk.  I’m sitting on the bed writing to you… You have been crazy lately.  c . r . a . z . y .  Seriously.  You must be getting into the “terrible 2s” about 6mos early.  You said the word “mine” for the first time yesterday.  I’m trying to nip that in the bud…

Some things about you right now: You are a maniac for the swing.  You love Logan from next door- and ask for him every time we leave/come home.  You’ve been asking for “zu-zan” and Morgan lately too- we went for a night to visit Nina and Papa on vacation and we saw all your cousins there.  On the hour drive home you went through the repertoire of their names- “max, owen, zu-zan, wyatt, morgan” over and over… and popped the paci (very loudly) in and out of your mouth.  If you ever watch the movie “Shrek”- I was the ogre and you were “donkey” on the ride home.  Ha!

You  can also count to 6.  Although sometimes you skip #2, you point to your fingers and count… wun, too, twee, foe, fye, sicks! It’s amazing- I don’t know you can do these things and then one day, you just do it.  Out of the blue- you just counted by yourself sitting in my bathroom.  You won’t do it when I ask though!  Goofy, smart kid.  We also found out that you LOVE ranch dressing. (Honey mustard dressing too).  You dipped everything in it at dinner the other night- your cheetos and grapes… everything.  Ew!

My favorite thing as of lately: You HAVE to give baby Grae “tisses” before bed… and you want to “hode-eeeum” all the time. (hold him) It makes me smile so much… I love you.

Well my love, I’m going to go pay attention to you… Jack is going to be over in a minute and we need to get ready to head out after lunch!  We’re going to get a slushie at Jean’s today- first time this year! You won’t remember from last year, I’m sure, but you sure loved them last summer! Can’t beat a $1 slushie. Yum. 

Love you, Sweet  Pea.
You’re my girl.
                               

Dear Aidyn-

It’s been a very interesting 4 days.  Daddy and I put you to bed on Thursday night just like every other night.  The next time we saw you, it was lunchtime in the delivery room and you were meeting your little brother!  I think it’s been difficult for you to adjust… you’re jealous of the attention Grae gets, I know.  I starting sobbing last night when you wanted me to hold you and I couldn’t because I was nursing Grae.  It’s so hard.  I can’t love on you like you want (and I want!) because there’s someone else I need to give my time and attention to.  I love him so much too…

Funny memory- the very first time you saw Grae, I was trying to nurse him for the first time.  You looked straight at him, shouted, “bite it!!” and took a swing at him!  Ha!  I love that you try to protect me…  You saw my milk dripping out before I fed him yesterday though and I think it sunk in that he’s not biting me.  Since then, you say, “drink it! feed him…” and smack you lips in a sucking sound.  Ha!

I think you really like your brother.  I hope we all get used to each other soon and that we can have lots of fun times when I’m getting around a little bit better.  I’m so glad Nina’s here to give you more attention and love than I can right now.

You’re my precious, precious girl. 

Love you more than you’ll ever know. 
                                                                    ~